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’ ‘It’s OK,’ Lori said. It wasn’t, really, but she didn’t want him to see that. Her insides were knotted and her mind was whirling. What was she going to do? ‘I really wish you well,’ Bill said. ‘And I am sorry if I’ve caused you pain.’ He touched her shoulder. ‘I…I’ve got to…to get going. Something may come up later that will help you.’ He squeezed her shoulder, turned, walked to his car, got in, and drove off. Lori watched Bill go and felt tears welling up in her eyes. Then she got behind the wheel of her car and sat there awhile, until her crying stopped. ‘OK,’ she told herself. ‘You have to pull yourself together for Donnie. Even if no other man needs you, he does.’ She started the car and drove back to the apartment, finished packing her stuff and her son’s, carried it all out to the car, then stood there, looking at the pile of things she’d amassed. ‘It’s amazing how little I really have,’ she thought. ‘I…I don’t have much that’s worth anything, except Donnie.’ She went back. Sadly, he's also the one man whom I'm apparently invisible to. I've been timidly watching him for months now, but he's never spoken to me, let alone even looked at me. Today would seem to be no exception as he takes a seat on the weight bench next to me and immediately begins to do his own bicep curls with hand weights that look ten times bigger than mine. I think about what else those strong, lean arms could do. I try my best to stare forward and complete my set, but as if with minds of their own my eyes keep gazing at his reflection while he stares straight ahead. As always, I can't get over how my body reacts to seeing him. I've never been attracted to "pretty boys." I like men looking like men, with character in their eyes and callous on their hands. He's tall, at least 6'2", with a lean, toned body. Despite no overt bulk, he exudes strength and quiet confidence. As usual, he's wearing long track pants and a long athletic shirt. His sleeve is rolled up a little and I can clearly.
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